The news no one wants to hear.

February 26, 4:55 PM, I joined a 'club' that I thought was at least 20 years out. It all started at the beginning of February when I found a Tylenol size lump in my breast. Part of me wanted to ignore it, but the fact that our secretary was diagnosed with kidney cancer, Stage IV that had already metastasized to her bones, lung and brain, got me to the doctor within a week.

I was able to get into a local OBGYN and they listened to my concerns and actually had some of their own for my other breast. Three days later I had a mammogram and ultrasound. I had forgotten what it felt like to be flattened like a sardine, the women reading this are shaking there heads agreeing...the men have no clue. The radiologist came in after seeing the ultrasound images and conducted her own test on my breast. She measured and marked the area of concern and told me that they would need to do a biopsy. She also told me not to worry, as 80% of biopsies come back negative. Easier said than done. During this entire time my intuition told me it was 'something'.

I had to wait a week for the biopsy to take place. The radiologist conducted an ultrasound guided fine needle biopsy. I was very nervous, not knowing what to expect and LOVED that the doctor talked the entire time, explaining each step. I will admit it was very uncomfortable having the samples 'vacuumed' out of me. I don't even know how to describe it. She then told me that she wanted to put a metal marker inside my breast. This would identify the mass for a surgeon OR it would show radiologist to look at the area for any changes for future mammograms. In my opinion this was not a good sign. She showed me the 5 samples she took and I noticed some blood in the solution. I remember reading that if the liquid came out clear that it was benign, but that if it came back cloudy or bloody then it was surely malignant. I told her what I had read and she tried to convince me that it wasn't the case. I wasn't feeling very confident. In leaving, the nurse gave me the phone # to call for the results...3 days away.

I was on pins and needles on the 26th. I knew that I would have to wait until after 4 pm to call, they wouldn't have the results ready before then. I was swamped at work and didn't get a chance to call. I finally found a quiet moment sitting in the elementary parking lot waiting to get Kyle from an after school tutoring session. The radiologist came on the phone and verified my personal information and then WHAM, told me it came back positive for invasive ductal carcinoma, .7mm in size with a grading of 4. I put myself on autopilot, retrieved Kyle and went home. Patrick was home and I pulled him aside to tell him the news. Stunned disbelief best describes my emotions. Thankfully, life had to resume quickly as Kyle had hockey practice and Patrick was taking him. I still can't believe I did this but, as soon as they left, I actually called the hospital back and spoke with the radiologist again. I asked her to pull my file again, just in case she gave me the results from another patient. Hey, stranger things have happened. Unfortunately, she didn't give me someone else's diagnosis....it was all mine...couldn't give it back as much as I tried.

I had another shock that night. I received a phone call from my OBGYN doctor, telling me that he received the results and wanted to make sure I was okay. He explained the diagnosis and what the next steps would be. We spoke for probably 45 minutes, he reassuring me that it would be okay and that the survival rate was high. I might add, that this situation was the first time I had visited this particular OB office. My normal OBGYN is in Cincinnati and I wanted to be able to get in quick and not have to take an entire day off work to get the lump checked out. I give this office very high marks on customer service.

Not only did I just find out I had cancer but it was Brandon's 14th birthday the next day and we were hosting a birthday dinner for the grandparents. I don't know how we got through the weekend, pretending everything was normal. My parents stayed the weekend and we even ventured to Louisville for Brandon's hockey games. My sister came up from Nashville with my niece, and my oldest nephew came over from Lexington. It was great to see them all and very hard to keep everything bottled up. This is my family, my greatest support, and I can't give them a whisper of my secret. I am thankful that I kept it together....for Brandon's sake.